Skin Deep 256

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The global interest in tattooing appears to continue to grow with not much indication of slowing down—but the angle of that interest has also radically changed. With so much information pasted on the walls of the internet now, sites like buzzfeed are treating the information they hold as though it’s general knowledge and you’re a fool for not knowing it. I didn’t know people actually used buzzfeed in real life but I guess if what you’re looking for are some words that fell out of the sky with no logical train of thought behind them, that’s the very place to demean yourself on a daily basis.

Anyway, a few days back, somebody sent me some facts (not actually from buzzfeed—I just wanted to point at them and make them look dumb) about tattoos thinking I might be interested in them. They thought wrong… well, not so much wrong as I actually became interested for all the wrong reasons. Let me run a couple of these by you:

Fact 1: Often misspelled ‘tatoo’, the word tattoo is one of the most misspelled words in the English language.

Truth 1: No it’s not. I see a fair old whack of instances of the word ‘tattoo’ and sure, some are misspelled but there are hundreds—thousands—of far worse culprits than this simple word that only has three bloody letters in it. Who on earth has the time to spend figuring that out anyway?

Fact 2: Receiving a tattoo has been described as similar to getting stung by a bee or getting a sunburn.

Truth 2: Pestered by a swarm of bees repeatedly for three or four hours maybe, but one bee? I don’t think so. I got stung by a bee last year—it was hidden in my shirt that was hanging up by the window and didn't much appreciate the disruption. It may have smarted a little but honestly… it was not in the slightest like being tattooed.

Having said that, a tattoo doesn’t hurt half as much as sunburn but that serves you right. It’s not like we haven’t been told a million times not to lie around in the stuff. Even more when you have ink.

Fact 3: Pamela Anderson’s barbed wire armband tattoo was so instantly famous that it was largely responsible for the huge rise in popularity of tattoo armbands through the late 90s

Truth 3: Yeah, OK. I’ll give you that one. That’s pretty bang on the money.

In the real world, all of this is just noise. It doesn’t matter to anybody. At best, I guess it might be mildly entertaining but would it be too much effort to have great tattoos to illustrate these random facts? Surely it’s just as easy to steal images of great tattoos as it is to steal crappy/average ones—or are they worried that those who are prepared to put in the work to be great might have something to say about it?